Rachel's Blog: 2006 Oscars Observations Part Eight

Mon, 06 Mar 2006

I promise this will be the last entry, Oscars-wise. If nothing else my laptop battery is getting low.

Who do you reckon those people are sitting in that little box on the side? Performers? Upcoming presenters?

I never thought of Robert Altman as an old man. It's not an old man's name. Yet, there he is in all his wrinkles. There you go. Altman's family gets the Royal Box. Strange.

OK, so here's the controversy we've all been waiting for. Despite what George Clooney said at the beginning of the ceremony about the Academy not being out of touch, this is proof that Oscar knows what's going down. They're here with the dope thang. Are they lip-synching? I guess someone (everyone) was worried about Rude Words sneaking past the censors.
It's not a very good song.
None of them are very good songs. Dolly should get it for being able to sing without lungs or a diaphragm. See, I can't pick winners. It's why I'm not a gambler. Y'know what I'm sayin'?

Jon Stewart wants to know why the "pimp" guys were the most excited to accept an Oscar. It's because this is the 78th Academy Awards. Everyone else already has one.

Ooh, Jennifer Garner nearly falls. But saves! She does her own stunts.

Holy crap! Is that the the soundtrack from Beetlejuice?
That is the cheapest set design ever. Did they rip those revolving signs off a railway station?

I seem to have stopped typing. Trust me. Nothing interesting is happening.
Chanting - Joaquin! Joaquin! Joaquin! See? If ever anyone I know is nominated for an Oscar, I'll be rooting for the other guy, because that's the only way you'll have a chance at winning.

Less than half an hour to go. I can do this. *I think I can, I think I can*

Did Heath Ledger stuff cotton wool in his mouth to achieve that accent? I don't think I could listen to two hours of that without being unnecessarily reminded of visits to the dentist.

John Travolta. I barely recognise him without his dinky pilot's cap.

Best Actresses get nominated for being sassy onscreen.
(I'm not chanting) Whooo! It worked! Go Reese!

"I'm just tryin' to matter" - June Carter That's a pretty good quote. I'm going to remember that one.

OK. One award left. (I think. I hope)
Adapted Screenplay? What kind of a category is that? This isn't going to end for days is it?
So why isn't Walk the Line nominated as being adapted from a life?

Another screenplay award. Hugging. Everyone is hugging. I remember when hugging became the thing to do when I was in high school. I was in about year ten. So has hugging always been de rigeur at awards ceremonies? Who started it? Who's responsible for these violations of personal space.

...

Stuff happened. Tom Hanks needs a hair cut. A dress nearly fell down. Laptop battery went flat. You can all look up the winners anyway.

...

I can't believe I made it all the way to the end. Sleep! Give me Sleep!

This has been the 78th Annual Academy Awards, the Year of George Clooney.