Rachel's Blog: Liner Notes

Sat, 15 Oct 2005

I'm feeling a bit better today, I can see the end of my cold on the horizon. But in the throes of disease I seem to have signed up for Nanowrimo again. Mad! Mad I tell you!

I have also discovered a confluence of items that makes the world a little crazier than usual. The liners I purchased recently are wrapped in a thin plastic that has little Odd Spots printed all over it. I find this disconcerting. I'm not normally the kind of person who likes to have something to read while on the toilet, but I'm also the kind of person who reads anything that passes before her eyes.

So. Feminine hygiene fun factoids. Or are they liner notes? I'm not sure what the correct terminology is. They are the kind of facts that you find in cheap non-fiction books for ten-year olds: "Wally's Wonder Book of World Knowledge" or "Facts to Amaze and Astound Your Friends". For example Odd Spot #20 Tells me that
From the age of 30, humans gradually begin to shrink.
Which is great, because while I'm unlikely to grow taller than my mother in the next four and a half months, one day she'll overtake me going in the other direction.

Or how about Odd Spot #149
The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.
Which leads to the question, how does it carry all those arrows? Odd spot #42
An iguana can stay underwater for 28 minutes.
I'm not sure how this will prove useful, unless your mortal enemy is an iguana and you're trying to take him out by drowning. Good to know.

The really interesting things though (apart from how I can apparently go on and on about the wrapper of a sanitary pad) are the facts that are half cut off. It's all been printed on one big sheet you see and then sliced up willy-nilly. (Willy-nilly! - get it!?). So Odd Spot #72
The average human body contains enough potassium to fire a toy...
A toy what? What toys run on potassium anyway? Odd Spot #109
...'s eye is bigger [that it's] brain
Whose eye? Running through a mental list of particularly stupid or large-eyed animals gets me nowhere.

My favourite though is Odd Spot #68 (or part thereof)
... expands as a person looks at...
You can fill it in with almost anything. A stomach expands as a person looks at a cake. Consciousness expands as a person looks at a sunset. Boredom expands as a person looks at paint dry. Fear expands as a person looks at the inside of their eyelids. The universe expands as a person looks at anything.

I'm not about to give the company free advertising, but if you're wanting to join in the menstrual-flow-control-product-fact fun, look for the lime green packet.