Rachel's Blog: Random Diet Testing
I spent a large part of yesterday driving from one side of greater Melbourne to the other to attend various meetings. By early evening I was so hungry I did something I have only done once before in the last ten years - bought fries at a McDonalds' drive through. So I drove home, scoffing salty evilness, and felt exceedingly guilty. (Also, but not relevant, I was grossed out by the new packaging which is all greeny. I suppose it is to promote their new faux-healthy salady image, but it just made me look more intently at each chip for signs of mould.)
However I did not feel the full depth and intensity of my contribution to global warming, littering, youth slavery and heart attacks until I came to the police breath-testing bus. "Now they've got me," I thought, "I've been sprung eating junk food."
Fortunately I had a zero blood alcohol level, so they let me off this time.
But the man in the green car ahead of me? "I'm sorry sir, you seem to have absorbed an excess of saturated fats today. Please step out of your vehicle and consume this carrot."
And the P-plater in the van behind? "Ma'am, your iron levels are quite low. Here's a ticket for red meat at your next meal and please take this spinach juice with our compliments."
Of course lives will be saved this way. Free jelly beans for people with low-blood sugar! Imagine the positive PR for the police force.