Continuing on a theme - did you know that Neil Gaiman was coming to Melbourne? Well he is, for the CBCA conference All the Wild Wonders. You can pay $800 to see him, along with many other fine notables of the children's book publishing world.

Or, you can pay $25 to hear him speak because his keynote, along with that of Shaun Tan's, is open to the public (scroll down for details). Crazy Hair!

Just making sure you have all seen this.

Helen Mirren has twinkly sleeves. They're a bit distracting. Do I even have to say that my pick is Johnny Depp? Never a genre film though...Is he chewing gum?! That's disgraceful. See? Chew gum = No prize for you.

It's now 11:52 and another ad-break. Bastards.

Best Director. I zoned out. That's the Coens again, yeah?

The Eightieth Best Picture......Atonement? Juno? Either of those is good.

No Country For Old Men. See now that's _another_ Best Picture that I haven't seen. *sigh*

Is that the end? It is officially tomorrow now, so, can I go to bed?

Sorry about all the whinging. Next year I'll do it with alcohol and increased amounts of chocolate. That'll make me feel better about the whole thing anyway.

Going now! *waves* G'night!

So what's left? Best Actor, Director, Foreign Film and Director. So that means they'll keep stretching it. I predict an 11.47 end time. Because we all know how good my predictions are.

Oh and Cimena-cinen-I can do this... Cinematography too. *crosses fingers, whispers Atonement* Still can't do it.

That's some good shoulders on Hilary Swank. Silly tizzy bit, though.

Oh, the sad bit. Worst are the actresses that died in old age, but they only show footage of their early work, so it looks like all these young things have keeled over.

See there's an ad for Run, Fatboy, Run. It's better than that, I promise.

Now they're trying to cheer everyone up again with the song that didn't win an Oscar.

Original Score - another award I forgot about. I bought the Atonement soundtrack. That says something, right? WOOOOOOH! Picks another winner!

Documentary Feature. I think my prediction of 11:47 is way off. This won't end until tomorrow.

Can't anyone make an award nominatable documentary about something uplifting?

So who's that other woman up there? Stealing limelight methinks.

My eyes have glazed over. It's Indy! Screenplay... Juno? Please? It deserves something surely? YeeeeeHaaaaaa!!! Another win for me... I mean Diablo Cody! Best onstage tatt.

My cat has lost the plot again. He's probably wanting me to turn the tv off so he can go to sleep. He's that kind of a cat.

I know I missed the whole red carpet thing, but I'm really not getting anything from the outfits this year. Where are the kilts? The pant-suits? The tulle? It's all so tasteful.

Colin Farrell doesn't want to be there either. I wonder what he slipped on. Does Jon Stewart not get toilet breaks?

Another tame dull song. Speaking of toilet breaks...

Hey there's a voice over behind all that music. I wonder if it's saying anything good?

I have seen shamefully few of these Best Pictures. Not even Casablanca! I know! What am I doing?

I'm counting genre films - one (you figure it out!), unless you want to count Ben Hur and fantasies like Titanic. Plenty of musicals though.

Editing. Oh probably The Bourne Ultimatum again. OH YES! Picks a winner! *punches air*

Nicole Kidman: Wins the necklace award, gives a lifetime achievement award to the oldest member of the Academy yet to get one.

When Robert Boyle said "Hitch" did you all picture Wil Smith? Yes, you know you did.

Half an hour to go...but there are stacks of awards to go!

Another Enchanted song... Bit light on musicals this year?

John Travolta could be a spokesman for Grecian Formula.

Best Song....not one from Enchanted. Well of course not. Couldn't be something fun and cheerful could it?

Time to post again? Oh alright.

The bald man on the television is telling me I've never been wealthier. What does he know that I don't?

I'm not getting any comments... I guess this means you're all far too clever and are doing something worthwhile. Like sleeping!

The "When the Writers Go On Strike Award" (ducks - no really! I jest!) Atonement should get it. Three strikes.

Need more water....I guess someone made a speech?

Oh, this is the rules part.... I hope the Ditmar committee is taking notice.

Even Jon is bored. The less funny he is the bigger his smile gets.

Song the third. This must be the song and dance routine. So sad. Balloons. About a thousand too few. Why couldn't the actress from the film do this number? Cause a Toni winner can't sing about vermin and hair in the bathtub?

I'm nodding off... the couch is so comfy.... my head is so stuffy...snore.

The Bourne Ultimatum should _not_ get the award for sound. I remember it being confusing. See that!?!?! See how I simply cannot pick Oscar winners? It's a great skill.

OK, maybe this is the one that The Bourne Ultimatum shouldn't get. Did a horse just explode? Transformers for the win. Crap, I should put money on how much I suck at this.

An hour to go? I don't know if I can do it.

Alright, let me try this another way. Ellen Page is not going to win this award, even though I want her to. I was right that time. *grins*

I think Marion Cotillard was happy to get the award, no?

Have you seen the pile of books I could be reading now?

That's 178cm of books. Yet I sit here instead learning to differentiate the different colours of cleaning fluid.

OK enough with the grumpy. I just saw Run, Fatboy, Run, the new Simon Pegg movie. It's great fun! Easily on a par with Hot Fuzz. Perfect date movie too - it's a romcom, but filled with gruesome visual jokes.

Right, they're back.

See, even Jon knows the montages are not funny. Or entertaining.

Song 2. Wait. Didn't someone already do that?

Is it my speakers or is the sound off? No, it's them.

But, hey, broke out the budget with this. More than four people on the stage.

Here are the interesting films that most of us will never get a chance to see. Winner is the one with the cute kid in it. Isn't it always the way?

Ugh. Animated Seinfeld.

More interesting shorts. I'd love to see Peter and the Wolf (and the others) I had the music as a kid and I now have a version narrated by, oh, someone famous. Damn.

More montages. You really can't do anything without writers can they?

Golden Age of Cinema, alive? hmmm. I'll have to think on that one.

I call it for Saoirse Ronan. (I actually have a cheat sheet for the spelling on that one.) Another miss :-(

My cat that is. Meowing at air.

What's with the weird shoulder things everyone's wearing?

Seeing what they actually did with the makeup is good. La Vie En Rose gets a prize! My dad'll be happy with that.

This is the "We're sorry about the Freedom Fries thing" Award.

Songs - usually a painful part of the evening. This is my pick though. Cute!

Needs dancers. Also cockroaches.

More reminscinces. I'm sure it's lovely for _them_.

Trying not to post during every ad break. Don't want to get to keen too early. Hours to go yet. I wonder if there's any chocolate.....yes! But not much. Will have to ration.

I'll have you know this is a Threadless t-shirt, Jon.

Dwayne who? Familiar face. Is he usually shirtless?

SFX. They all win, I say. But especially Transformers.

Hooray, my first miss for the evening! This is the science fiction award isn't it? Do genre films ever get anything more than FX and costuming awards?

No, cat you may not sit on me.

Art Direction. My pick is Sweeney Todd, but only because Atonement is going to win everything else.

OMG I picked it! And in case you were wondering, no, I have no idea what the results are before the telecast. What would be the point if I did?

How many shots of Johnny Depp can we fit in to someone else's result.

Oh, Cate is a dog. hilarious.

What is this _every_ past winner? *yawn*

Night of the Godawful Dress. In cinemas this summer.

Supporting actor...I pick... um... who are these guys?

OK, I'm here. Just caught the end of Jon Stewart's intro. Was it funny? Well it certainly didn't end in hysterics. Plenty of time for him to warm up though.

Costume Design. Never going to be a controversial category. Pretty though!

George Clooney. It's long. The Oscars trot down memory lane. Cheeeapppppp. Where are the big production numbers nowadays?

Crap, I'm bored already.

So here's what I have in preparation for tonight. A glass of water, a packet of medicated throat lozenges and a sore throat. woooooh.

iPhone joke. Ugh.

I think I saw Justine Larbalestier comment earlier today that Anne Hathaway's outfit was hideous. She was right!

Scripted commentary. Less funny. Vomit joke.

Please don't give this award to Ratatouille.

Double Ugh.

The Oscars telecast is on tomorrow night and you know what that means? Yep, live blogging. For those unaware, I have over-blogged the Oscars for the last two years and also in 2003. Tragically I have a free preview of Run, Fatboy, Run to go to beforehand, so the sniggering and snarking will begin a little late. Also, I think I'm getting a cold, so it may be even more incoherent than usual.

Tune in at 8.30pm to Channel Nine and I will tell you what Richard Wilkins keeps under his hair. Wooh! Bring on the frocks!

2007 Commentary - Part One, Two, Three , Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve.

2006 Commentary summary.

2003 Commentary summary.

For those reading this on the Livejournal feed, brace yourselves, there won't be any cuts.

Anyone else weirded out by the bedding company that's using Gary Jules' Mad World in their ads?

I was shifting things around on my desk earlier and found a card that had come home with Abbey from kinder last year. No matter how hard I look at it I can only see one thing.*

See it?

See it now?

* For the record I figure she was trying to write her name, but had the pen in her left hand, her right hand fingers in her mouth and her brain at lunch.

Happy

Birthday

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