Here is a small toy from the Sci-Fi Christmas Cracker I edited a few weeks ago. I hope all your festivities are less horrible than this.

Merry Newtonmas everyone!

I may have signed up for Nanowrimo last month but what I did instead was edit together a giant collection of hilarious videos for the inaugural Continuum/MSFC Christmas Party. Song! Dance! Jokes! Poor taste! Dragons! Inappropriate humour! You'll be rolling in the aisles - in pain!

There will also be delectable edibles and loads of silly season silliness.

When: Friday 11th December
Doors open at 8pm, excitement begins at 9pm.

Where: St. David's Uniting Church Hall
74 Melville Road, West Brunswick
(Melways ref 29 C5, or catch a #55 tram from William Street in the city, to tram stop 36).

Cost: MSFC and Continuum members free, otherwise $2 at the door.
Gold coin donations for food and drinks.

We apologise but due to the nature of the venue no alcohol is permitted on the premises.

I've created this aspirational image as a reminder to myself that the height of fashion and style is not jeans and a Threadless t-shirt (even if they are all $9 today *shakes fist*). And seeing as I cannot afford the postage on these lovely togs from Pinup Girl Clothing, let alone the togs themselves, I shall have to begin building them for myself. Yes.

Cheapass Tuesday and I only had time to see one movie. My first choice was The Young Victoria, but it wasn't showing during school hours. So it came down to Inglourious Basterds and District 9. I kind of want to see both, but ended up choosing D9 because it's shorter. Short attention-span is short.

Loads of my friends have already seen it and they all raved*. "Awesome!" they said. You're all wrong, my friends.

It's an OK kind of movie. The effects are fine and believable. They've put heaps of thought into making the aliens ("prawns") both hideous and anime cute at the same time. I wasn't put off by the violence (I had to stop eating at one vomitty point, but I got over that). But blah to the characters and erg to the story.

Yes. We get it. It's about apartheid. It's set in Johannesburg just to make sure we don't mistake the forced sensation in our throats for a bit of stuck popcorn. Aliens have arrived on Earth (why and where from is not explained) and are put into a temporary camp in South Africa for 20 years.

And after that? Well there's this completely uninteresting guy and some stuff happens and his opinion of the aliens is changed 180 degrees. And That Is All. There's maybe half a sub-plot given to the main alien character, Christopher Johnson, but he isn't anything more than the dude with the MacGuffin.

The uninteresting guy, Wikus, is married to Tania, and although he does stupid and cruel things without question as part of his work, we are supposed, I think, to like him because he makes little tchotchkes for his wife and calls her Baby. He calls her Baby a lot. It's irritating. As is the lack of explanation as to why anyone would marry such an idiot.

The documentary style (to heighten the Theme - do you get it yet?) creates distance from the main characters, making it even harder to empathise with this blah person, but is then confused by the switch in POV when stuff actually happens. A good chunk of the film is just undisguised exposition, by people actually talking to camera ("interviewees"). Boooring.

I got really antsy watching District 9. It felt longer than it was and the denouement was twee.

Three out of five black bilious vomits.

*Except Richard. He knew ;-)

Thursday
We had a pre-con event on Thursday evening; a Hangman's Tour of the Old Melbourne Gaol arranged and performed by Heath Miller. I was kind of afraid it would be a bit cheesey, but I was very wrong. It was a little creepy, but mostly it was about getting the information across and a bit of imagining what it was like being imprisoned. (Not nice, by the way, really not nice.) Terrific tour, highly recommended. It also gave a good chunk of the committee a chance to meet our Guests of Honour Chelsea Quinn Yarbro and Narrelle M. Harris. There was a bit of discussion about the set up the next day as we had limited time to get everything in place before the doors opened. Much sleeplessness resulted.

Friday
Our fears proved unfounded and we were able to set up a little early and in record time and then it was all on! Most of the daytime events during the weekend are a blur, but oh my god, the committee. There has never been a committee like the C5 committee. Every person on it knew what to do, where to be, who to talk to. It ran like clockwork, which for a steampunk con was appropriately fortunate.

The Introduction to Con Going panel was brief, but I hope we said a few useful things for the first-timers. The Opening was also brief, but then things really got going with Richard Harland's Worldshaker launch. Jack Dann again hitting the mark with his sales pitch and Richard gave a terrific reading. Then cocktails and talking, (so much talking!) until Thank Cthulu You're Here. George Ivanoff ably wrangled Narrelle Harris, Danny Oz, Scott Pollard and Paul Poulton in theatre sports. I acted as a last minute stand-in judge, but I'm afraid I was enjoying the show so much I didn't contribute any actual funnies. Early to bed, but then so much more brain-churning that there again wasn't much actual sleep. Which did not set me up too well for

Saturday
First in the door at 8am so the Dealers could finish setting up, then running around chatting, fixing, addressing, whatever needed to be done. The Dollhouse panel with M1k3y and Heath was a hoot. I hope the audience had as much fun as we did talking about the inherent Godishness of Joss Whedon and arguing the finer points of Eliza Dushku's acting chops.

More fetching and carrying and just a little panicking before my reading in the afternoon. Heath and I concocted a genius plan where he would take half my slot to read a story originally written for the conbook, but deemed inappropriate for print (by me - I'm such a prude). This meant I only had to read half as much as I thought. Everybody wins! The readings went well. I really enjoyed Gillian Polack's and Lucy Sussex's readings too. Vindictive dart throwing and books on the rampage. What's not to like?

After that it was all about preparations for the Maskobalo. Hespa and our tech guys - Mikee's Mikes and The Hairy Dude did an OUTSTANDING job with the sound and lighting. Combined with Guttermonkey's props and all the lanterns we could muster the space had a terrific ambience even before it was filled with costumes. And boy, howdy. I could go on and on, but I will wait until there are photos and then link, because really you have to see.

I especially have to mention DJ Omega who generously and skillfully kept us on the dance floor almost without pause. You have seen nothing until you have seen thirty people in steampunk outfits bouncing around to the Monkey Magic theme.

There was still a good crowd at midnight keen to carry on, so it was up to the Coccoon Bar. Excellent conversations were had and it was verrrry late early before I got back to my room.

Sunday
For those keeping tally, by this point I had had less than 10 hours sleep in the last 36. Caffeine and adrenaline, my friends, caffeine and adrenaline. Sunday is a total blur. I know I spent money in the Dealer's room, because I have a beautiful shiny pile of books to read. I caught some of the Steampunk Fashion panel and felt quite underdressed. Cass and Omega went all out and looked gorgeous. The Closing Ceremony went well, I think. After getting out quite efficiently we attempted a Dead Dog party, but I think we were all too dead. Ah, well.

Thank you again to everyone who attended, the fabulous committee, our generous and fascinating Guests of Honour and to you for reading this far.

It's days since C5 and I'm still on cloud nine. This clip is from Groove, which I highly recommend if you're into dance/electronica.

CREATE YOUR DEBUT YA COVER

1. Go to Fake Name Generator
   The name that appears is your author name.
2. Go to Random Word Generator
   The word listed under "Random Verb" is your title.
3. Go to FlickrCC
   Type your title into the search box. The first photo that contains a person is your cover.
4. Use Photoshop, Picnik, or similar to put it all together. Be sure to crop and/or zoom in.
5. Post it to your site along with this text.

Funny thing is, I didn't have to manipulate the image at all, it came pre-de-headed.

There was a twitter trend I jumped on this morning that had everyone competing for the most #lameclaimtofame

I posted this one

and then realised, as a few comments came in, that it was somewhat unrepresentative.

But whaddyaknow someone's put my Sportsgirl ad on Youtube.

Can you see me? No?

I'll let you in on the story then.

I was doing work experience on the shoot as the runner. I washed dishes, fetched beer, carried cables and stopped the pedestrian traffic while the camera was rolling. It was a freezing cold day and when someone asked me to move a jacket out of the way, I put it on. It was a huge black leather thing and I was swamped. But frankly spending a day with all these models who were being primped and fussed over at every turn I was happy to have something to hide in.

The director decided he wanted some movement in the background of one of the shots so he asked me and the stills photographer to walk along the street. We did as requested for a couple of takes and then he said, "You guys are great, you should join Actors Equity. I just need you to turn around and walk the other way."

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it really was that we were so distractingly good looking that it would have ruined the point of the advertisement. Maybe.

So there you have it. I'm the shorter of the two black blobs in the last scene, walking away from the Sportsgirl logo. My one and only appearance on national television. I told you it was a lame claim to fame.

I have a wee little story in AntiSF at the moment. It's called Warrior. I hope you like it.

In twelve hours we're getting on a plane to foreign parts. We won't be back for a couple of weeks and I'm not going to do anything email-y or blog-y or twitter-y and not even much phone-y. I won't even be using my usual mobile number. It's an old school, retro kinda trip. The kind you send postcards.

If you're going to have any parties while I'm gone, please clean up the mess before I get back.

Have a great Easter break!

Handmade Helps Out is a group of crafty types who have joined forces to make raising money for the Red Cross and Wildlife Victoria more effective. Heaps of craft item sales and auctions are listed on the site with proceeds going to bushfire victims, as well as other ways crafty people can help out.

Have a look through the items, perhaps something will catch your eye. Think about the birthday and other gifts you will want to give this year.

My own felt hanging auction is still open until tomorrow evening, you can bid on it here. In addition to donating the entire proceeds to the Red Cross, I will donate an equal amount to Wildlife Victoria.

I have just returned from a couple of hours at the RRR studios in Melbourne this morning sorting some of the toiletries that are being donated so generously by RRR listeners.

When I arrived there were a couple of trestle tables in the perfomance space with donations already over and underneath them. By the time I left the room was like a warehouse and donations are still pouring in.

If you're able to drop items off this afternoon, there is a need for NEW underwear.

Other needed items are nappies, baby wipes, pads (including incontinance and maternity pads), tampons, toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, soap. Clothing and food donations are not being accepted as part of this drive and additionally, all items must be new and unopened.

More information here: RRR Toiletries Drive Wednesday 11 February

Well done and thank you to Clem Bastow who is coordinating the drive and arranging a convoy of vehicles to carry the goods which will leave for affected areas tomorrow.

This felt wall hanging is being auctioned to raise funds for the victims of the horrendous Victorian bushfires of February 2009.

Bidding is open as of now and the auction will close at 10:00 pm Eastern Daylight Time Sunday 15th February 2009.

The entirety of winning bid will be donated to the Red Cross Victorian Bushfires 2009 Appeal. A copy of the receipt as proof of donation will be sent to the winning bidder.

The hanging will be posted free of charge to the winning bidder if within Australia or at cost to overseas locations.

TITLE: "The dark forest moon rising in the last misty evening before the living shroud walks. With cobwebs." Felt Wall Hanging.

MEDIA: Merino and Leicester wool, silk threads and fabric, soy fibres. Cotton backing.

DESCRIPTION: A wall hanging handmade using a wet felt method. Wet felting involves the agitation of raw fibres using soap and water until they bind together into a single piece of fabric. Other than the cotton backing, no sewing or glues were used in the formation of this panel. Due to its somewhat random and unpredictable nature, wet felting results in entirely unique pieces.
This panel shows a gnarled tree with a full moon rising behind. The white foreground 'cobweb' hangs free, giving extra dimension to the work. Silk threads (some of it reclaimed sari fibres) give a sheen and a hint of colour. See here for more detailed images.
The panel measures 40cm (15.5 inches) wide and 38cm (15 inches) high. A pocket in the back allows insertion of a rod (dowel or stick) for hanging, as seen in the photo. For ease of delivery a hanging rod is not included, however coordinating yarn will be, if you wish to copy the hanging method shown. Alternatively the panel could be framed by someone familiar with textile arts.

MINIMUM BID: $5

HOW TO BID: Simply leave a comment on this post with the amount of your bid. Be sure to check back often as you may be outbid, especially towards the end of the week.

You must leave a valid email address when you post your comment so you can be contacted if you win. I solemnly swear not to use any email address for nefarious purposes or pass them onto third parties.

If you have any questions regarding the auction item or the auction process please email me: rachel AT mechanicalcat DOT net.

Thank you and happy bidding!

THIS AUCTION IS NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU TO ALL THE BIDDERS!

There are now 84 confirmed dead in the bushfires that continue to burn across the state of Victoria tonight. Hundreds of homes have been lost, and hundreds of thousands of hectares of beautiful bushland and farmland destroyed.

It's almost impossible to comprehend. I'm sitting not a 45 minute drive from the devastated Kinglake area, yet I can't even smell the smoke.

Here's what I'm going to do:
Make a donation to the Red Cross Victorian Bushfires 2009 Appeal
Donate blood within the next couple of days.
And I'm going to offer up a felt piece originally made for a different charity auction (it was not bid on at the time).

In the next post I will call for bids for the hanging and the high bidder at the time the auction closes gets the goods and the entirety of their winning bid will be donated to the Red Cross Appeal. I'll even cover the postage.

So please spread the word, and look out for more details in the next post.

My story The Girl in the Cupboard has been published at ticon4. It's free. It's not too long. It's not too scary. Did I mention it was free?

I'd really like to know what you think of it, so please leave a comment over there for Russell (wonder-editor) to read, or here if you just want to say Happy Birthday ;-)

I'm sorry, that was a horrible way to die. Flattened with no warning and no chance to say farewell to your loved ones. I hope it was painless and quick for you, squashed under the tape dispenser. I will always remember that you were large and had a white tail.

Blogging about my favourite toy over on the craft blog. It's totally valid. Lego is a medium for art.

Brickvention - Melbourne - this Sunday. See you there!

I am trying to write a brief bio to accompany a short story publication. I think it must be the hardest thing in the world.